.and, deep breath.

"The secret to teaching is to appear to have known all your life what you just learned this afternoon." 

-Anonymous

I remember many evenings in Honduras, sitting in my dimly lit room, pouring over elementary school curriculum  and praying that in the morning I would be able to explain everything in a way that an eleven year old would understand. I was only one chapter ahead. learning everything right along with her. that first week before we started classes was more than a little scary. but it opened the door to something that changed my life. 

for the last eleven months I've been living in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina surrounded by fresh faced little ones waiting expectantly on me. I don't think I have ever been so nervous. and I wasn't even the one doing the bulk of the teaching. 

I divided my time between 7 classrooms throughout the week. acting as a buffer for the wonderful teachers and staff that surrounded me. I helped with comprehension, explanation, and general childhood curiosity. and I loved every minute of it. I had the pleasure of leading small math and reading enrichment groups as well. and sometimes it was my job to simply run around on the playground playing tag with eight year old munchkins, I could not have possibly asked for anything better. 

I spent my afternoons mastering the art of parent communication, and becoming familiar with all of the behind the scenes work that goes into helping the school day run smoothly. I am now a master in phone etiquette, first aid, and all things clerical. 

everyday after school I lead different tutoring group. we played games and spent ridiculous amounts of time giggling. yes, there was some learning going on as well, but mostly it was a space to just be. with snacks, books, music, coloring, and conversation. 

and then I blinked and it was summer.

 I fell in love with these kids. I learned just as much from them as they did from me. and that is just as it should be. they reminded me that courage can be found where you least expect it, and that when you really love what you do the rough days are not what matter. they just make the good days that much sweeter. I'm moving on in just a couple of weeks. using the courage I've gathered from these little ones to take a giant next step. I am headed toward a teaching degree. and a classroom of my own.

 I am going to miss then terribly. but without this experience I would have never been brave enough to make that choice. my days are dwindling. and my room is filling up with boxes and packed up suitcases. I'm getting ready for the next adventure. 

with shaking hands. and feet that are not quite so steady. I'll dive.

"Courage is grace under pressure."
-Ernest Hemingway